Its 1.30 in the morning and I’m looking out on the streetlights. Its fog all over and I can’t stop thinking about whats next?
The winter is coming. Snow, more cold and a lot of long and dark nights ahead with a lot of thinking. So whats keeping me up now?
Lately..or I can say those last 18 months has been real hard to survive. But once again I made it. Feels like a big loss, but I can’t think that way anymore. I have to stop fighting a war thats already lost and take the power back on whatever thats left of me and my life.I lost the fight…but do I really need another war on my hands? I’m the only one who can end this. I’m the only one who can make myself feel like a human again..
Take the guilt away. The guilt they all put on me like a big rock i couldn’t lift.. But I came trough and still I was so blind I let myself believe I could win the next fight.
So here i am..In front of me..Looking at the one and only warrior I really can rely on to make the right choice. And I surrender.Not to the enemy..but to myself. I give myself the power back. A chance of happiness and to live and not exist.. Why? Because I deserve it. I can say that I’ve done all I can and I’m proud of it.
I’m back. I’m stronger. I’m weak also, but not broken. I’m me. I’m not what they think. I make the decision now. So a big wave with the flag for a warrior who’s ready for her biggest battle . To win her own heart and soul back❤