Post Wedding Blues

Damn I never heard of this and I really didn’t expect to experience this shit! Well, this is real…and it hits hard. You use months to plan, find the perfect dress, flowers, venue and the day arrives. Finally you’re husband and wife…and bam its over…

I think it took us about 2 days before the blues started to show upon us both. My husband said he felt so exhausted, low and not interested in stuff. We have cried, discussed and cuddled a lot. We do everything in our power to get ourselves back in the routine with making dinner, taking trips and just enjoy being newlyweds.

And we are happy also. We laugh, love and in my opinion: damn good with each other. I love him deeply. He’s my sun and I’m he’s moon.

But this blues holding us back in so many ways….

I had to Google it, and this is what I found:

What exactly are the postwedding blues?

«[It] happens when couples experience a period of letdown following the excitement of planning the wedding,» says Jocelyn Charnas, a clinical psychologist and premarital counselor. It seems counterintuitive that you might feel down after what’s meant to be the best day ever, but so many people experience highs and lows in life, especially after big events

How can you tell if you’ve got the blues?

Boredom, sadness, lethargy, loneliness and isolation are just a few of the complex reactions someone with the postwedding blues might have.

Okay, so the internet really hit me in the right way. Also my husband experience this blues and we talk a lot about it. It’s so important not to get swallowed by this. Especially when you are suffering from depression to begin with. Do I wish someone would’ve told me about this months ago? Hell yeah! But I guess this is just another taboo subject that were not suppose to talk about.

In my opinion, priests should talk about this when they have pre wedd meetings.

So here’s the tips I found to deal with this….

5 Tips for Dealing With Postwedding Sadness:

1. Recognize that your wedding isn’t the same as your marriage

If you know yourself well enough to realize you’re too focused on the wedding and not focused enough on your relationship and next steps as a duo, take a moment to shift your perspective. «Start talking about what’s going to happen the next day [after the wedding],” .It’s fabulous to celebrate a wedding, to make it wonderful. But think about what married life will mean, what your expectations are as a couple for your lifestyles, and focus on making that shift in perspective.»

2. Be open to premarital counseling
Don’t be put off by the idea of premarital counseling—even before your “I dos.” The postwedding blues are just some of the things you can talk about in sessions before your wedding. By talking to premarital counselors, you’re taking a proactive step in insuring the future of your relationship. «It equips the couple with the communication skills necessary to be able to problem solve, arrive at compromises and know how to handle disappointments going forward,»

3. Make everyday events exciting and important.
Adding fun and joy into everyday life sets the scene for staying connected throughout your marriage. Make dinner at home more special with a few candles, or take a day trip somewhere close, but new. «Focus on the small things that bring you security, comfort, warmth and make you feel loved on a daily basis—that’s what marriage is all about,”

4. Redefine your relationship with your family.

Try not to focus on the fact that you’re leaving your family and instead think about the one you’re just beginning. Your family is still a part of your life, but you just have to reinvent your relationship with them. «Getting engaged and getting married is a great opportunity to redefine relationships with your family of origin and reflect on your status as independent adults,»

5. Look to your new spouse.

You may feel embarrassed or uncomfortable sharing your sadness with your brand-new spouse—you may not want to worry them or offend them. But take comfort in your other half. If anyone understands these feelings (or your needs in general), it’ll be them.

This article really gave me more weight to talk about this with my husband. And we have agreed to use some time now to deal with this. Because were the only one who can fix this. We are in this together, for better or worse. We are really good at this, talking I mean. With so many ups and downs through the last 3 years have made us almost expert’s. Yes, there will be some fights or disagreement, but in the end we always find a way to make it good for both of us. Now theres us , and not you or me!

I really hope this can help someone else who’s about to get married. Prepare and talk about this before the big I DO!


2 kommentarer om “Post Wedding Blues

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  1. It’s so refreshing to see such an honest post about things like this. It’s similar to the come down experienced after Christmas or a big birthday. The tips for dealing with this are excellent, great post! 😊

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