Its been a little while since I shared some of my experiences with anxiety. It’s not always about the big attacks that leaves you gasping for air or passing out…But I think for many of us it’s more about the everyday anxiety that keeps us from living in the moment and actually miss out a lot.
Today I had a moment( or one hour actually) that took me two steps backwards. I haven’t been working out for a few weeks and today I decided it was time to do something about it.
So I put on my workout clothes and walked over to the gym. Luckily it was only a couple of people there and I felt ok. Started out with the treadmill and still felt good.. Then out of the blue my pulse went sky high, I felt like I was boiling and got really dizzy.
Ok ok so I slowed down and concentrated on my breathing and drank some water.. So back in control I went over to the machines. And there it was again..Blinking before my eyes and dizzy, hot … this is the biggest triggers for anxiety and I got pissed.
I’m a bit of a control freak and I hate it when I cant finish what I started. One moment you feel fine and the next your mind just blows up and pushes the red button.
Triggers are one of the things I’m working hard to understand when it comes to my diagnoses and I’m like a walking bomb ready to blow up anytime. A smell, word, colour, song, anything at all can take my mind to something bad or hurtful that has happend.
For those who live with someone like me can get really exhausted, but imagine how it is to be the one who’s not getting a break? Not to have the choice to forget or stop feeling the pain.
I really hope that I someday can let go of some of the pain and that the triggers will be less in control of my mind.
What’s your experience with this? I would really like to hear your opinion or triggers and how you handle it…