First of all I wanna wish you all a happy new year. I bet many of you have a lot of wishes and Hope’s for 2019? Maybe 2018 was a rough year and the only thing you wish for is some peace and quiet….
Today’s post is something I’ve experienced and thought a lot about this last couple of weeks:
When will he have enough?
For many of us who struggle with several mental disorders one thing often comes up and that’s the relationship part. Our constant mood swings, lack of trust and the constant fear of being left alone…
I’ve written a bit about this before,but I think it’s a big part of my problems. I get so afraid he will lose me so I hold on to tight. Sounds familiar?
We fight over small stuff. I get really irrational and I say things I wish I didn’t.Most of this things comes from my trigger points. Those are to many and it only takes one little thing to take me right back to something that hurts.
So…why do I wait for him to get enough? Well,its because that’s what always happens..We all have our limit,but I’m so used to be treated badly and left “for my mental issues”. After some time you believe it’s all about you and you blame yourself for everything.
To love someone with mental issues is one of the hardest things you can do. It takes patience and the skill to remain calm in so many situations. You are not suppose to take any crap or let yourself be talked to in a bad way, but it’s how you handle the person in front of you.
You see the person you love change and is standing there with tears while they are yelling at you. It’s not them,its not what they mean…its just the feelings taking over and giving a complete meltdown.
On the other hand, to get loved by someone with mental issues, can give you more than you can ever dream about. We love so hard, will not cheat and will walk to the moon for you. And all we want in return is your respect and love. For you to see us and not just our illness.
Me and my fiance has been through more in 2,5 years than most people during 20 years of marriage. We still have a lot to work on, but we are fighting…together..
Sometimes I think hes gonna walk away,but he doesn’t. He let me scream,cry or remains mostly calm when I’m in that state of mind.
So yes…love and mental illness are compatible…If you are lucky enough to find someone who opens up after all they have been trough and with so little trust: dont ever betray them…Be their beat friend,lover and partner. Hold them tight when they cry… Wipe their tears and say its gonna be ok since you have their back…
And then I can promise you…You have a lover for life❤
What’s your experience when it comes to being in a relationship?