I guess it’s just not for me..

To many feelings and to much stuff going on. And when you’re really alone you sit there and realize theres actually no one to talk to about the most important things. They are either to involved or just doesn’t give a damn about it.

I have comed to realize people aren’t for me. I’m so afraid of opening up or let new once into my life. And it seems like I always say or do the wrong things. Either by them or myself. So theres no win in this situations.

Why bother to share when it becomes forgotten as soon as they walk away? I’m not there for anyone entertainment or to kill some time. I wanna be a priority…not the one getting the leftovers.

Si i do what i know best. I help everyone else…as always.. I care for everyone else…my bad…and I care a little less for myself each day….

This is one of the typical part of my longterm depression.

I do what I think is expected of me and I want to be liked by others. That’s why it’s so weird when I care so much but at the same time I don’t??? Doesn’t make sense at all.

What I hope is that I will come to that point when I don’t care about saying no..who’s more friends with whom…or if I will fit in…

I guess I will change after a while and then I will see who’s still there….