I’ve been sugarcoating , hiding feelings, bitten my tongue and all this just so I wouldn’t hurt or scare off the people around me. And for what ? I’m usually the one ending up getting hurt and feeling stupid. I’ve been told I’m not fair and that I can’t feel this or that way….Ofc I know I can be unfair and get a bit over engaged , but I’m usually really fast when it comes to say I’m sorry. And I’ve used many years to learn to be relevant, and still I can loose it. But something I’m not is mean!! I don’t say stuff I know will hurt you in the worst kind of way.
We all need to have some kind of «filtering » when we talk to other ppl. No need to hurt their feelings just to make a point. But the longer you keep your mouth shut about how YOU feel , the worse the situation gets. But think a bit before you speak, and if the situation heats up , breathe….
The other person hasn’t been there when you had the conversation in your head! And no matter what , a lot can come out wrong or be misunderstood. So I say again speak up and if they can’t respect your feelings or have an adult conversation that’s their problem. Your feelings and how ppl treat you is reflected a lot about how much you allow ppl to do. To say stop and let them know they overstepped before it’s gone to far can save you both from a lot.
Never be irrational. You need to be respectful and don’t attack or accuse the other person. That might end up in a huge fight or that one of you end up saying something you can never take back. When the damage is done, you loose….
So my advice not only to you, but also to myself is to be honest, but fair. If they say they also get hurt, respect it. But don’t apologize just to get peace . Then you will loose your self respect.
For a person with so heavy anxiety, social anxiety and other personal damages it’s hard to tell others to back off and that’s somethings not right. You might have been «dumped» and left because you stood up for yourself. I’ve learned the hard way that people like that is not worth your time. You need those who can handle the differences and meet you halfway. It’s not always about being right , but to be fair.
Well, this blog is almost as messy as my head right now….
Let me know your opinion on this😊