So it’s been almost two weeks since my last post …. I needed a small break and I just got the famous writers block. And I’m sorry to all of you for not reading your post like I usually do. But I will be back…
Right now I wanna share this moment with you. This really moment where I’m on the flight back home and having an extreme anxiety attack!!! I can’t breath, I’m dizzy and I’m so scared I’m gonna trow up…
I know I’m gonna survive this and I don’t fight it. And that’s the hardest part for me. To let it come and ride the storm off.
This actually started for me yesterday. Around 5 pm I felt the first sweat and I got dizzy. I tried to do as normal but had to lay down for a while. I didn’t get much sleep and two hours after I woke up it was right back on. Well, what could I do? I knew this trip would be hard and I must say as always I’m so impressed and proud of myself for managing to go trough with this every other month.
It’s not always that bad and I really enjoy when I can relax and enjoy watching series and play a game on my phone.
To travel alone and have to switch flight at least once can make anyone stressed or tired. I feel trapped here and surrounded . I can’t get out and I have to accept that.
I bet all of you who knows this devil have used all the trick in the book when you’re in a similar situation. You pray that it will stop…soon… real soon… lookin at your watch…biting your nails or whatever nervous habit you have.
This post is really messy and that’s because I’m a mess now. And this is me. I live with this but it’s worth it. I never thought I would manage this in the long run. But I’m still here, fighting, surviving, living and I’m doing it for me, my kids and my fiancé .
If your having anxiety right now, I’m with you. Take a deep breath and look out the window. Or even go outside on the doorstep !!! It’s the devil, but you have kicked he’s ass so many times and always will!!!
I’m proud of you!!!