Hi all and good afternoon… or is it?? I sure hope so;) Maybe you’re day really sucks and you just wish for someone to come and take the grey cloud away? I will say sorry for this really low post today , but maybe someone else is having a day like mine and you know, can see they are as human as anyone else. I speak straight from my heart and not everyone is ok with that.
I have to say, for a person with so many irrational thoughts and a mind who runs in 300mph it feels pretty empty now.. Guess I’m just exhausted … I had a rough night.. again… and still I manage to go trough the day somehow. Yes I’m also impressed 🙈
Outside it has been this amazing spring weather. Sun and over 20 degrees. But I wasn’t able to enjoy it and it kinda pisses me off. I wanna be happy, feel how good the sun feels against my skin. Instead I went back inside and closed the curtains. Let the world go on without me.
I know I can’t stay inside forever . I have to kick myself and get over some shit….( sorry my language) But the question is how?
How do I get over these thoughts , bad feelings and the pain? No I don’t feel it 24/7 and yes I even laugh and can enjoy myself. It’s just that it’s happening more rare now. And I don’t get enough refill to handle the grey clouds…
And I just have to give som cress to my fiancé. That poor man who stand by me in all my craziness , everlasting mood swings and my bitchy behaving. And I have to tell him how sorry I am pretty often. Mostly for biting he’s head of for small things. Ofc for me they’re not so small in the heat of the moment, and still he manage somehow to get me back into a rational state of mind. That man should get a reward!!!
And many of my irrational thoughts is about him, my fear of being left alone. That he is gonna get sick of me etc…. Overthinking is a really bad thing. And when you lay awake every night you can say it’s not making it any better… No good decisions is ever made after 2am !!!
Ty for taking time to read and feel free to share or comment💙