You cut the rope…

I can’t believe it… Feels like all you said was a lie! You always had my back, took care of me and I trusted you…

Where did we go wrong?

Over the years you love, trust, build and experience how it is to have it all taken away in a blink. Still you keep on trusting and believing ppl are true from their words and actions.

I just lost/ left one more person who was really important to me. And this last 2 years I have shut out several ppl from my life. And it feels right, cause I deserve to be treated good. When they suck out your energy with their negativity and lies, I’m better off without.

You don’t have to agree with me, do it my way or pretend you want what I want. All I want is that you respect me enough to not hurt me and push my weakest buttons. To use my mistakes against me after a long time is not fair. I know I’ve done wrong many times, and some of them I still «pay»for today.

Sorry for this messy blog but I’m an emotional mess myself. I’m so done and so tired and sick of hearing it’s my fault when ppl treat me bad!!! It’s you’re choice to say those things. To do what you know hurts me the most. And afterwards almost laugh it away like it’s nothing.

It feels like you can’t trust anyone sometimes. That you’re alone with the pain, shame and you really wondering if their right? Am I really that way?

But no, I’m not… my biggest issue is that I care to much, give to much and I’m in some need of control to feel safe.

I’m not that strong anymore. I have a limit like everyone else and in the end I’m just empty. I know we all can end up feeling like this after many similar experiences . Because they become our truth.

How do you deal with the pain of a loss??

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