Yes I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!!!! Why can’t you just leave me the hell alone?? And take your best friend depression with you? You to deserve each other…. Just go around there, and ruin people’s life’s and make them believe there’s no way out!
This is my brain telling me to think about everything bad that’s ever happens. Make me insecure, jealous, angry , etc…. If someone hurt me in any way, it will always haunt me. Waiting for the next time! Even if I wanna trust completely, there’s always the 1% that takes over.
My brain also tell me the worst case scenario. And in the end this becomes my reality. Because why wouldn’t it happen? Why will this time be any different?
Having a brain that run for 300 km/h and 24/7 is just insane! I should be proud I even manage to get anything done .
I’m my own worst enemy:
Omg! I did it again! Why couldn’t I just go and be with them? Having a good time and feel like a normal human being?
Every time I end up not doing something I want, I get so disappointed . And it tears me apart. You sit there and know you failed… again… and thinking: no wonder they stop asking you so much. You always say no!! But what am I suppose to do? My whole body reacts if I don’t know where and who and when… I need control and it’s so scary to get out there , showing you’re true face and say: yes I have anxiety! Because you’re experiences have thought you that most of them don’t care, understand or even listen what you’re telling them.
But it’s me that puts myself down and in my heart I know that. My head tells me I’m worthless and are better off alone…
That’s why I hate you anxiety!!! You’ve taken so much from me and I can never get it back. All these years with the constant fighting and you still won’t give up!!! I just wanna be normal, and boring. I wanna be the one who decide when, where and what…..
But I will not let you win! I hate you so much and that gives me the power to fight back!
I know I’m strong, I’m the one putting myself down and makes me feel I’m not good enough. Yes, I can say this and still my head won’t let me believe it….
what’s your opinion about anxiety???
Let’s make us all shout it out and take back the control!