Why me??? 

Once in a while we all ask ourself why me? We experience something like our car breaks down, we drop the phone etc…. This is the everyday life stuff that can happen to us all. And it’s really annoying . But mostely it’s materialistic stuff that can be replaced.

So now…what about the mental and life changing why me?

Something happens that will effect your life forever?? You can never be completely rid of it. For me my mental illness is my biggest why me!!! 

I can’t  write my whole life story cause it’s just to damn much. But after foster home , children’s home, other institutions I have changed. My life started pretty much with a why me!!

So how can it be that some of us get so much to carry with us, and others don’t? A quote is saying: You only get as much as you can handle!  Well, I must be pretty damn strong to get all this to carry on my shoulders.Who really wanna be strong that way? I just wanna be able to leave my thoughts behind sometimes. Not always overthinking and feel the anxiety never giving me a break.

Yes I’m angry a lot!!! Do I want to? No ofc not. It’s just that when it’s your 5th day without even an hour of rest or constant anxiety you get pissed. So then you use a lot of energy to not be angry, depressed so on and so on…..

Instead of sitting here at home day in and day out asking why me, I want to be out there…. working, be social and feel like I’m a part of the everyday life. I feel I’m missing out on so much. That’s there actually not room out there for anyone like me!!! Always with an excuse for not go out or participate. If only ppl knew how sad it makes us when they stop asking because we say no so often…. Do they ever have the why me hitting them so hard they stop function?

Reason I’m writing this now is because I’m sitting here… alone… with my thoughts… and just asked myself: why me? Why couldn’t I become more like the others?

Plz share your thoughts if you feel like it. 

Ty for reading this and hope your day has been amazing:)

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