I get so mad!!! And so sick of having the life of a rollercoaster with pms!! I mean c’mon .. I had a pretty good day yesterday , and I thought that finally I’m back. Now I can do the things I haven’t been able to lately…
Well, jokes on me:( After a nice breakfast out and some shopping I could feel the anxiety sneaking up on me. I try to just let it come and continued with my own stuff.
But like everyone with mental illness knows, you can’t ignore it. It will at a sertain point give you enough to be so exhausted and it’s taking the focus. So I gave in, and sat down with my serie and hot chocolate. This was around 3 pm today and now it’s actually 21.30 pm!!! And still going on:( can I get a bit pissed now???
Haha yeah I can try laughing and joking about this, because I know it will pass… the anxiety…but will the low feeling still hang on? That’s my main question every time. Yes I talk a lot to myself because I want to make this something I can control. Make it less scary. Sometimes I win and sometimes … we’ll just have to suck it up.
But about high and low. The hardest part is actually having a great and high period . Why??? Because you’re usually just waiting for the major fall!!! So many times you can’t enjoy it since you know what’s coming.
But the other times, you actually forget the fall and you take off like a bird in the sky!! You have no limits and feel you own the world. Many of you will call this Bipolar disorder , but this is so common in so many mental illnesses.
When you’re high you feel like you’re on something. It feels amazing and you just love life. You try to do everything you didn’t do the last few weeks or months. And for me that means the fall hits me even harder….I forget to control how I use my energy and that I actually need to continue work on my issues.
This became a rather messy and self wining post… But here you go… just like my head today;) Now I’m back to my couch and game and see if I can actually win over something today😂
New day tomorrow and hopefully I’m back with a nice and lovely post for y’all 🙂
Peace and love