All my life I had to deal with so many different ppl. Some have made my life better and some in the end even worse… I have made so many mistakes when it comes to trust and who I have given my heart to. And every time I have lost someone who was really close to me, I loose something of me!!!
You see, my issue is that I turn this around. After so many times being hurt, I look at my self and say: What is wrong with you? You need to change!! Maybe they will love you then!!
But no! This is not the right way. And it’s easy to say , but hard to do. To turn other ppls actions on yourself isn’t right and I actually feel stupid for doing this. I have the right to be treated good. Ppl get my respect , but it’s their job to maintain it.
I’m a human! I make mistakes , and I sometimes have hurt others too. I’m not fucking perfect!!! But I forgive…. sometimes to much. When I love you, it’s with all of me. I only demand respect , loyalty and love.
I think what I expect of my self sometimes is more than I should. I want others to like me and respect me. But not at any cost!!! I respect them more if they’re honest from the start!! And tell me what they feel when I ask!
This last year I have lost ppl and it still hurts. But I see it more and more as their lost. I don’t wanna run after someone. If they want me in their life, they will make room for me.
But I’m really thankful for the ppl that has thought me valuable lessons. I know what I want and don’t want. They made me stronger!!! I learned how to fight for what I deserve. And that’s one really important lesson. You are worth the best!
Ofc I’m more careful when it comes to new ppl and how I let them in my life. But it doesn’t take my long now to feel who’s here for me or something they need or want. I trust my gut!!!
So my main goal is to get my confidence back.! To be able to look in the mirror and really love myself. And last thing: That no one will be able to put me down!!
What makes you confident ????