Everyday and 24/7 i have to remind myself not to give up and to keep on moving forward. Find all the small things that makes it all worth it in the end. And that’s kinda hard from time to time when the storm gives you a black eye.
Many times I have felt the need and urge to crawl together in a corner and stay there just to feel protected. And wow all the hours I’ve spent in bed or on the couch rolled up like a ball and shaking in anxiety and with heavy thoughts.
This has been a big part of my life for basically the last 20 years. Yes I’ve had good times and long periods with less anxiety and I could live more like a «normal» person. When you feel the energy coming back and your mind gives you a timeout, it’s all about doing the absolute best of it.
I have wrote about this before and for me it’s a really important part of my life. I’m more than my mental issues. All I’ve been trough have made me the person I am today. For better and worse. All my experiences has given me some tools for use in how to handle my feelings, but I’m not even close to know it all. Every episode feels different so I guess the important part here is to trust yourself.
One of the best advice ever given to me when it comes to take control over an anxiety/panic attack is to give it a face or handle it like a person. Don’t fight it but let it come and ride it of.. So I started to talk to it like a person and told it to actually fuck off!! I’m in charge and I always win.. Does it work perfectly every time?? Nope.. But 8 out of 10 is not so bad. And I can promise you that every time I win it feels so good.
So I’m proud to call myself a survivor! I have a battle going on and feel so lucky for every day I get with laughter and happiness. The days I don’t feel like even going out I have to remind myself that it’s ok!!! I don’t have to be strong all the time…
I will still put on my smile to you on my hardest days and be there for my friends and family no matter what!!!
It’s ok not to be ok!!!
And I wear my crown like the warrior queen I am!
Have a lovely Monday everyone 😉