Well so it’s Monday again and people usually say: new week, new possibilities … Ofc that’s one way to look at it, but for me it’s very often just another day. The days just float in to another and feels often that I’m not going forward. This is NOT true , just my feelings. The feeling of just existing often hits me, and I have to fight it and keep on moving.
I am so blessed actually despite my illness. Because I have my kids, fiancé, friends and other family I really love and Will do everything for. They are the reason I get up those hard days and put a smile on my face even when I don’t feel like it.
My illness have taken too much and I am so much more than some diagnoses on a paper. Is it a full time job to live like this? Ofc!! Some days take all I’ve got just to eat and take a shower. When the depression feels like a neverending story I wanna scream and take away the pain. But I NEVER wanna give up!
Yes living is a rare thing! We often take things for granted and forget to live in the moment. Take some chances and make your own happiness. Like I did when I realized I really wanted to marry this man I have. It’s not a perfect relationship but he is my soulmate. He can make me go nuts sometimes , but everyday I feel the butterflies when I look at him.
Same with my kids. I don’t see them every day. Miss them a lot, but they are happy and to know they get the best they deserve makes me feel I’ve done the right thing. To see them grow up and become great men is the best a mom can wish for. We make every hour togheter count because it’s so precious.
Life is about choices. You always have a choice and there will always be consequences one way or the other. Something I have really learned the hard way is that there will always be someone who will tell you no, you are wrong, or get disappointed . It’s not possible to please everyone. Have I made many bad decisions ? Yes and I’m probably not done making them yet. I’ve hurt people and my self. Cried rivers and thrown stuff because of my own stupidity. You don’t choose who to fall in love with, but how to treat them. You don’t choose your parents, but what kind of relationship you wanna have with them.
Sometimes, actually a lot others make choices for you and the only thing you can do is to choose how to react and handle it. You can’t control other ppl or their actions, but you can decide if they deserve a place in your heart or your life in the end!!
So live!! Take chances and believe that your own choices are the right one! Existing takes you just a short way, and in the end you are the one missing out.
My last advice:
Remove negativity, drama and make sure you take best care of yourself:) You deserve more then you think!
Have a great Monday;)